Another Reason to Clear the Clutter

May 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm (Letting go, LoVe, Sailing, simple frugality) (, , , , )

So as I window er marina shop for a sailboat I am understanding why I have come so far in downscaling my possessions. I need to be able to organize and pack for bareboating efficiently and easily. I also know that the boat will come with many surprise expenses and must be careful not to get caught up in the latest gadgets for my boat!

So today instead of hitting the beach or sailing I am gleaning through my possessions for an upcoming Craigslist and Ebay session. The proceeds to go into my sailing certification fund.

I know this will sound funny to some people reading this but, the fact is the less I own and the more I consider what I own the easier it is to be generous, spontaneous and understanding of the challenges of the many who have so much less than I do. I have a roof, food (with the chubby rolls to prove it) transportation, an education and my health. I wake up each day to these and know that the challenges I face each day are unlikely to be in these categories. I eat simply and mindfully for health and energy and pay attention to the messages my body has for me such as get more sleep, or be mindful of eating only when hungry and to keep fit.

Sailing has a profound way of keeping you in the moment every moment. Thinking about something else is hazardous when sailing and subtracts from the pure enjoyment that is sailing which should be revered.

So I leave you with this thought…what would you take up if you had the money and the time? Maybe you can already if you move towards that goal instead of waiting for some ethereal tomorrow where all your bills are paid and you have plenty of time. Today is the day to start living the life you dream of…

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My Most Intimate Relationship Exposed…My Relationship with Money

May 24, 2012 at 7:55 pm (Letting go, LoVe, simple frugality)

I recently read a book by a woman who lost everything to Bernie Madoff. By everything I mean almost a million dollars. I have lost a sizeable amount of money over the past three years to the stock market and assisting a family member with some hefty legal fees and costs. During this time I thought I had my relationship to money all buttoned up but her book made me realize where I still have some issues.

The financial help I offered family was freely given whether or not it was entirely a good idea. That was something I do not regret. I realize I got that place because I did not help a loved one a few years prior when I actually had more money and could have really helped with education and other expenses. I worked long and hard to be debt free so that when I divorced my husband we would each walk away with some cash, stocks a nice paid for car each and whatever household stuff each wanted. He wanted most of it and I was relieved to downscale.  I was able to afford four years of college including a study abroad at a private university in France all while taking weekend vacations to villages and to cities throughout the six months I lived there. I was able to support our teenage son and send him to college as well although he did not finish…yet. For the first time since I was a teenager at home I felt safe, secure, free and untethered by debt….although I frequently checked my account balances. So maybe I still had a bit of fear that it would run out?…it did. Am I any different now? No, not really. I finished my education for now and am almost debt free again. Having some of my money would make it easier to travel and visit friends on a whim but, currently I have plenty to do right here.

So what I realized is that money has NOTHING to do with freedom or happiness after meeting the basic needs. Everything beyond that is all in our heads. I have wanted to take real sailing lessons for many years and have managed to wrangle up deals, borrow boats, join a club that gives HUGE discounts to members and am getting my certification. I am window shopping for boats right now to see what I can get for what price. Do I want trailer-able or is having it already in the marina more my style even though it costs more monthly? I don’t yet know the answers to these questions but, as I take lessons from different schools and sail on different boats I am getting a better feel for what I will want when the time comes. In the meantime I focus on being a better sailor and paying off my past while living in the present.

The book is Lost and Found by Geneen Roth and I highly recommend reading it if you would like a happier relationship with money and yourself.

During this time I was in a relationship with a very adoring loving man who partially supported me. His generosity was unrivaled by anyone I had ever known.

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When I find a love greater than the one I have for myself I will marry again…

May 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

After a very long marriage, mostly happy and seven years of dating, love, lust and everything in between I realize my college buddy Brian was right…never say never.

I am at a place where I realize that a marriage to the right person is a possibility I never thought I would entertain again is a viable option. It was once suggested to me that maintaining two residences even in marriage would make it the ideal state…I thought that sounded like being tethered to not being single…without the benefits of either and the issues of both. I was hasty in my judgement of this concept. I see the real value in it as I love to move about on road trips without bringing along a lot. maybe relationships should be more like travel, less baggage more fun?

I have downscaled my physical belongings maybe it is time to downscale my emotional baggage again and be ready to move about the cabin of life more freely.

I frequently turn down men for first or second dates because they
A) Come across as needy
B) Come across as potential stalkers
C) Are unable to cherish therefore cannot be respected.
D) Are not looking for the same qualities in a lasting relationship as I am
or
E) all of the above

I have realized I am old fashioned; I want a man who will cherish my feelings, take care of me, appreciate my intelligence and protect me. A man that I can and will respect and give my love to…is that asking too much?

I have known one person who fit that bill but we let it burst into flames under pressure in a foreign language on the streets of a strange ancient city, so unless it is like a Phoenix ready to rise again, that ship has sailed! (Do we like my use of mixed metaphors?)

In the meantime I am happy making art, painting, working, sailing and taking online courses until my superhero arrives. : )

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